Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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