I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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