i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
