remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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