so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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