i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
