I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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