we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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