i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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