Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
