we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
