Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
