I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
