Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
