This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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