I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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