38 yer olds are good kisserssss
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
