Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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