She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
