the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Bring me that man meat
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
