you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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