He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
