Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
