But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
