Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
