it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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