Christians are straight up FREAKS
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
