i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
