just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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