Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
