Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Randomize
