people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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