One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Bring me that man meat
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
