Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
