people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
