I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
two words: eviction party
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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