me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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