Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Randomize