I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
