my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
