I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
