we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
