Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
