You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
