He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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