Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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