If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
