his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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