I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
