Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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