it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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