i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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